Depressed Candle by Circe Sola

We are reading lots of articles, posts, different forms of awareness about depression and mental illness.  Praise God for all the people who opened up, shared and gave inspiration. Not only that, planted the seed of HOPE – there is LIGHT in every darkness.

More people came out and admitted that they, too are really suffering from depression. Funny thing, some of them who sometimes too LOUD about it, don’t really understand what it is like if others, too are really depressed and facing mental issues. WHY? It is like, “Oh, common! Others don’t have the right to feel depressed, tired, anxiety, pressure, etc. They are far from what I have experienced.” Of all the people, is it that you should be the one consoling your friend or family members because you know exactly what it means?

Sad truth, when people starts showing these SIGNS and expressed hopelessness, instead of reaching out, asking how are they and help… people will start to judge and compare to theirs. They misunderstand. They retaliate and rebuke.

What normally caused or triggered mental illness?
From my point of view as I continuously experiencing and at the same time fighting my own battle, it is how the people TREAT them.
No love. No care. No compassion. No communication. No forgiveness. No kindness.
More on blaming, harassing, judging, complaining and cursing.
For them, depressed people are like crazy idiots who just simply wants attention; and to some, they simply ignore them for the fear of adding burden to them or they will be burdened.
Well, to tell you… IT IS NOT like that. Because of that impression, the tendency is for them to hide their feelings, their deep pain, their longing, their problem.

The wife of the late Linkin Park lead singer Chester Charles Bennington once said, “Someone who needs help doesn’t always ‘look depressed’ or suicidal.” This is true – they appear to be strong and happy. Above all, depressed people will understand you UNTIL THEY CAN’T BEAR ANYMORE their own issues. So, please don’t always put yourself down as if you are the only one. Try to consider that others might be on the same place as yours.

For you who continuously judging people and pulling them down, for the reason that they are yeah.. also depressed… choose your candle.

A lesson from a CANDLE.

We are all like candles. We have been created for a purpose. To give light and shine bright for others but of course, you will lose your own life. And to depressed people, it will have a different perspective depending on how the candles are being handled.

1. Depressed Candle No. 1 – Dying Candle
Depressed people somehow thinks negatively. That is why mostly ended up SUICIDAL. They want to always sacrifice their life, their happiness, their freedom for you to FEEL OKAY and not to feel bad about their existence. They are living in remorse and pity… pity for no other than, their own self. They question their self worth as you question them their value as a human. You always asked for what they can give. With that, they isolate themselves for the reason that they are incapable of providing what the people, (esp. the one they truly cared and loved the most) are asking for. They are busy looking for the missing pieces – shortcomings and for areas that there is lacking so they think that what they are doing is always NOT ENOUGH.

DEPRESSED people, having no hope at all… will appear to be fan of blowing others candles out. It is not being a hero nor to show off brightness. They are easily irritated not by the light but by how it was lighted – no sense of purpose. Depressed candle will let their fire burning, shut off others and give up their life for others to live longer. Remember, it makes the life of the candle short, so does their presence.

2. Depressed Candle No. 2 – Candle of LOVE
But for those who successfully overcome depression stage, still recovering from it or is going through it, lighting their candles would mean, they want a peaceful life, praying deeply for others, showing compassion, living to add life and giving more light. It’s not easy. They are fighting really hard. They are turning the negative into positive, finding light in every darkness and pushing themselves up.  They learned not to  be tempted by the evil forces.  They have moved on and don’t want to be affected by the warmth of your wrong judgments, your inhibitions, your false accusations. They are freeing themselves from you, yes YOU… who makes their life shorter.

They will let their candle be lighted, not to die but to give light especially to those lost candle. Meaning, they have realized and understand their TRUE and ULTIMATE PURPOSE.

We all have battles and we are all fighting in different ways. But, if you know  really what it is like to be in it, you will know how to handle the situation (may it be your own or someone else) and realized who you really fighting  with. Sometimes, it’s not the person. It is just within your mind and heart. It is always with “OR” – understand the situation/person OR rebuke and retaliate ; forgive OR take your pride higher than ever; love or hate; accept and respect them OR judge them.

It is where the mental and emotional depression starts. When you find it really hard to decide ending up losing and forgetting your purpose, there you will know and feel that there is problem not only with them (the person you are fighting with), but there’s also YOU AGAINST YOU.

Now, look at the person surrounding you especially family members. You have no idea what they are going through. Most probably they, too have no idea about your struggles. But there is one common thing you can do for each other. Remove the OR and stick on the positive side and act on it.

Be the CANDLE OF LOVE and live with your purpose.


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